I have been keeping myself away from all the thought concerning lehenga. Why, you ask? Don’t girls start dreaming about how perfect their wedding lehenga will be since childhood? Yes yes, I have been imagining how it would be; the base-color, blouse color, metal work color, beads or diamonds (fake :D) and what not. But since I got engaged; oh yes let me tell you, I’m not engaged cause I do not have a ring on my finger. So is the reason I did not make an engagement blog-post cause it would be nothing but full of sad emoticons. I’m so sad about the fact that I won’t have my engagement ceremony, and all the dreams I woven around being engaged. In-laws said they do not have a ritual of engagement, I was like WTH. Parents have to bow to it and cancel our plan, thereby shattering all my dreams (ok, not all but most of them) in one strike. So, now I’m engaged in air.
So, the reason of me not thinking about lehenga is that I do not want to be more sad, like I became after the no-engagement ceremony. If tomorrow they come up with something like, ‘we have ritual of buying nikah dress from our side’ I would have to make Lehnga post full of sad and crying emoticons. If I get any lucky they will agree to let me buy it. I’ve asked Mum to talk to my mother in law about the same. Mum has promised she will try to convince them and let me choose my lehenga. Mum also said it would be better to talk about this only after we have fixed the date of wedding. Yes, families are still not sure about it, at the moment it can be a date from last two weekends of February.
It takes a lot of strength to not let the thoughts wonder in lehenga imaginations. Dear heart, please be aware that you’re deprived of this happiness only to save you from the huge heart-ache that would follow, should I not be allowed to decide my lehenga. Now, I’m waiting for the permission and praying with all my might to let me have this pleasure at least; after that big disappointment of engagement fiasco.